Saturday, July 23, 2011

Runaway (1984) Tom Selleck






A year and a half later, I now see the role Runaway (1984) played in sending Jams and I into the black hole of "bad" 80s movies.

Runaway is elite cheese.

If I ran into Tom Selleck today, I'd be tempted to tell him it's one of my all time favorite movies. He'd think I was being sarcastic. But he'd be wrong. Wrong like a toaster on a homicidal killing spree that only "robot expert" Sgt. Ramsey of the LAPD can take down! Yeah!

There's so much to love about Runaway (1984). Dialogue that hits you over the head, like, "Is that why he's a robot expert." Here's a graduation assignment from the Bayside School of Hysterics. Put "Robot Expert" on your resume and ad lib your response to potential employers who want to know what exactly that means. Post the results in the comments section please.

Or better yet, call a major college or university and ask if they can train you to be a "robot expert." When they ask you what on Earth your talking about, explain what you saw in this movie; the problem LAPD has been having with appliances.

What makes Runaway so awesome lies in it's thinking that audiences will recognize the inherent danger of an overhead projector gone loco and brandishing a fire arm. Do they train officers in the academy to be prepared for this? They should. "Cadets, today we're gonna teach you how to defend yourself from a toaster that's armed and dangerous."

Go to Sears and and tell a salesperson that you're looking for a particular model of copying machine. When they ask for the model number, play the scene posted below where Sgt. Ramsey takes out the laser beam firing model with a folding chair and tell him, "that one."

Call your local congresswoman and ask her to deploy the marines to protect you from the local PC Richards.

Complete all these assignments and receive your Bayside School of Advanced Moronics diploma in the mail.

Selleck vs Dangerous Dehumidifier
(apologize for glitchy video. will fix)


Thrilling Chase Through Cornfield


"So That's Why He's a Robot Expert?"

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