Out On A Limb (1992) Matthew Broderick

This simply wasn't an actual "bad" movie.  In fact it was sort of fun, unlike movies in theaters today, which are designed to beat the living hell out of you while you sit in the theater being "entertained."  Please, don't "entertain" me.

This was a pleasant watch and I recommend it for anyone who's recently been released from a mental hospital and has been ordered by a doctor to avoid modern entertainment.  (I'm certain this is actually more common than you'd think).

Any clinical psychologists out there that can weigh in on this or provide links to academic studies are welcome.  We're also fielding responses from construction workers, appliance repairmen and uncoordinated acrobats.  You can always tell them by the their flattened features.

Burglar (1987) Whoopi Goldberg

She's a burglar. He's a poodle groomer. Who in their right mind wouldn't invest one hundred "thou" or so into an idea like that? This is what I call Premise Gold.

Unfortunately, the movie couldn't live up to the hysterical promise of it's premise.

Had we seen the alternative poster for this movie, we'd have had a better idea of what we were getting into.








Everything on the left says fun.  Everything on the right says, "Check me out, I'm tough, and cool.

 Tough guy Whoopi, cooler than shit with the flip up shades.  It's a role she hasn't played since.

One trend we see in our movie theater dumpster diving is overt imitation. This movie does everything it can to be Eddie Murphy's box office smash, Beverly Hills Cop (1984), except entertain with comedy, action, amusing characters, etc.

In a town called "Bad Movies," this is the other side of the tracks.  This is the part of town you wanna avoid.  Where movies hang out in the shadows, waiting for station wagons to mistakenly venture into before they jump out and bore you into a stupor.

Heres' a clip from the movie featuring the only laugh in the movie. It's an unintentional Leslie Nielsen type of getaway on a motorcycle. Hair raising.

Munchie (1992)

This is probably the best movie I've ever seen.

Time stands still when you watch something like this, which Spanky Eisenhower and I did. It's like doing some kinda drug that numbs every corner of your metaphysical mental space invader.

"Munchie just moved in... there goes the neighborhood." Somewhere out there in this great asphalt wilderness there's a hard core gangster that has that tattooed across his back to the shock of his hard core gangster friends. I'd pay $10 to watch him try to convince them to watch Munchie.

That's a good skit for a sketch comedy team.

"C'mon, I'll even bake some cookies, and it'll be fun. We can have a sleep over! Look at my PJ's!" Killer Jim says to the set of gangster criminals.

"You trippin'" one says to Jim pulling a gun out and pressing it to his temple. Like David Banner transforms into the Hulk so does Jim into some kinda gangster monster, turning quickly to take a bite out of the steel gun like it was spongecake.

With the devil in all three of his eyes (one popped out of his cheek when he got mad) he tells the gangster set, "We're gonna watch Munchie. It's about a gremlin who likes pizza and helps the boy have a party."

"No doubt. Munchie. Cookies, cake... sounds like fun Jim."

Watch this trailer and tell me it isn't the best minute of your life.

Gung Ho (1986)

Michael Keaton is so macho and goofy.

You'd think that with the title "Gung Ho" I'd have had a clue that this piece of turkey pot pie was a MACHO FEST, which I'm allergic to.

Honestly, I couldn't take more than ten minutes of this thing but if I had to take a guess, "Gung Ho" is Michael Keaton whose Gung Ho attitude is what it takes to save the jobs of American auto workers.

In 1986 this type of fairy tale from Ron Howard may have kept the party going, but today, there's nothing funny about ownership's gutting of American labor for overseas slave labor.

Imagine going into a studio today and pitching the same idea about how an American manager fights to keep a manufacturing company from going overseas.  It would be considered heresy.

The response from CORPOWOOD would tow the party line, "We can't put this out.  Outsourcing is good for the global economy."

I have a saying that sums up the entirety of modern economic thought. "Layoffs Create Jobs."

This is in effect the load we bought in the 90's when they were selling "Globalization" as future economic prosperity.  How's that worked out?  Awful for everyone but the five to ten percent of the world's population who've increased their wealth at the cost of... humanity.  Light conversation...

Now that I think about it.  This movie is great.  Even though it sucked.

Zapped (1982)

This is pure mental hospital fare.  It's lighter than helium, and in an era where movies are falling pianos, safes and boulders, Zapped is indispensable.

A classic in the bad movie section.

She-Devil (1989)

This also wasn't an actual "bad movie."  It's a little known dark comedy about a cheating husband, an obnoxious romance writer and a homely housewife.

This premise doesn't have the same Bang!Pow!Zoom! that Whoopi Goldberg's Burglar did with it's story about a burglar and a poodle groomer.

"This would have been so much funnier if it had had a poodle groomer."  That's my official review and I hope they put it on the box.

The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You (1987)

What if Gloria Estefan is right, and "the Rhythm is Gonna Get You?"

How would it strike?

Is the rhythm patient, like a ferocious jungle cat, waiting for you to give a speech in front of the board before it possesses you with it's wild beat making you dance all over the place like you're Jennifer Beals in Flashdance?


 Gloria, if your out there, I have some questions.

1) Why is the rhythm gonna get me?
2) What's it gonna do with me once it DOES get me?
3) How do you stop THE RHYTHM?

Should I also be afraid of geometry?
"Geometry's gonna get you, tonight!"

I think bad movies got me. We watch 'em all the time, and love every lame second of it.