Saturday, February 25, 2012

Dean Cameron - Big Shot in the World of Bad Movies

We love Dean Cameron.

In Rockula (1990) he gave the world perhaps the all-time worst "honkey appropriation" of rap ever made.  The kind of thing that makes both MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice look like Rakim and Melle Mel.  There isn't a drug you can take, smoke, or snort that can produce the brand of tupperware surrealism like this rap performance in Rockula. (below)



In Miracle Beach (1992), Dean's hair steals the show.  And doesn't give it back.  The entire movie disappears into his all consuming, androgynous "bob" haircut.  Has anyone ever seen anything like that?  This gets him into the prestigious Hair Hall of Fame next to Dog the Bounty Hunter and Brian Bosworth.

But Dean Cameron wasn't done there.  He had more amazing to supply.  Ski School (1990) is easily the worst of all the 80s ski fad movies you cherish in your collection.  Where it's siblings Hot Dog: The Movie! and Ski Patrol managed to make it down the hill in one piece, Ski School falls off the chair lift.  In fact...

...it's the worst movie ever made.

The movie suffers problems I've never seen anywhere else.  Namely, incoherence.

Throughout the movie dialog is spoken that doesn't have anything to do with what we're watching.  Characters who haven't been established enter the action disorienting the viewers who have to stop to ask, who is she?  Watching this movie, you will swear you got up to go to the bathroom and missed something.  But you didn't.  It's just the magic of Ski School (1990).

Several Netflix reviewers suggest that the movie was shot without a plot and simply pieced together with scenes of naked women and beer guzzling thrown in to get the audience to forget it's own confusion.  Ski School is that bad!  How wonderful!

Originally Dean Eikleberry, Cameron can also boast of making appearances in A.L.F., television's single greatest moment.

A.L.F.
As is with all people who find themselves "stunned by the greatness" of Dean Cameron, we want more.  And there is more.  But some garbage is harder to exhume.  A resident at the bottom of the heap in the entertainment landfill, Dean Cameron's appearance in the TV sitcom version of  Fast Times at Ridgemont High may have fully decomposed down there never to be relished again.


If it does exist however, we'll be able to find it.  Fart Face has elite media dumpster divers Rickety Rockety and Hong Kong Knutsen on staff.  Rockety is a veteran media bloodhound.  And Hong Kong is one of the world's top 5 collector's of martial arts movies, an active VHS collector and contributor to super site Everything Is Terrible.  Dean Cameron as Jeff Spicoli!

Wherever Dean Cameron went, a legendary bad movie was sure to follow.  Thank you for your contribution to the spirit of making and enjoying the worst movies ever made.

- Fart Face

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